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I hadn’t thought about it before, and in fact it had never crossed my mind, but the events of the last few weeks unexpectedly made me wonder if, like Sofi and her husband, that’s where we would have also ended up: him wanting me to sleep with other men and return with the details.I guess I’ll never know, but it somehow it excited me. I couldn’t escape the notion that I was missing out somehow and it lit something deep inside me. I was aware that I was changing. Yes, it was baby-steps, but it was most definitely happening.I began to take pride in my appearance again. Gone were the cheap, daggy jogging bottoms and oversized sweat tops, that had hidden my body from the world, and I started to explore my wardrobe and rediscover all the bright skirts and dresses hidden at the back. To my children’s delight, I also began wearing make-up again.“Hello mummy, you look very happy today,” Rosie greeted me with one morning. And I did feel happy. For the first time in years, I had a purpose.. “There won’t be a moment for the rest of my life that I will take her for granted. I love her in the truest sense—her life, her feelings, her wellbeing, everything about her. And I feel the same for Hanna and Mattie as well. The three of them are more important to me than my own life.”John looked a little emotional and I sensed he now knew me and trusted my intentions. I thought I’d lighten things just a bit. With a huge smile, I put my hands on his shoulder and said, “So there’ll be no screwing around here!”He laughed. “Okay. I believe you! But a part of me was looking forward to punching you in the face!” He put his hand on top of mine on his shoulder and smiled. I liked this guy, and I knew we were going to get along.By that time, my dad had joined the conversation and was very supportive while raising a few concerns of his own. John and I continued to talk openly and frankly. He still didn’t really know me although he was starting to understand me. He made it clear that I didn’t.
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